It was one of those nights when peace was a stranger. I flopped in bed, agonizing over the betrayal I felt inside. It hurt so badly that I couldn’t imagine living the rest of my life in that kind of pain.
Alternating between self-pitying sobs and angry indignation, I tortured myself for hours that night - but for years previously.
That night was different, though.
Because that night, I listened to God’s response when I begged him to heal my heart.
Reflexively I started to pray - and that’s when I heard Him. “Not for yourself. For them. Pray for them.”
Instant. Peace.
Forgive the crude analogy but I can imagine that’s what addicts feel when they shoot up - and why they keep going back.
Years of torture were gone instantly.
And I have kept going back.
Like a good addiction, I now look forward to prayer and I seek out opportunities more & more often. What used to be obligatory face-time with God, pleas in the heat of the moment, or promised recitations of “Please be with so-and-so as they struggle with XYZ” are now moments more treasured than eating a dark chocolate candy. But more healthy.
Try it.
Pray for those who hurt you - not in a sanctimonious sort of way, not for them to come around to your way of thinking, definitely not for them to “get what’s coming to them” - but in the way that you would normally pray for your children or yourself. Pray with all of your heart for their well-being physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
My prayer for you tonight is healing and that you find blessed relief in the sweet addiction of Jesus Christ.
Amen.